Admin, fellow fathers, I come before you as a confused man holding an empty mealie meal bag like evidence in a court case. Is it just my house, or are we raising quiet, well mannered food investors who specialize in nshima futures? Every month, faithfully, I buy a 25kg bag of mealie
meal. Not a small one. A serious bag. The type you carry with confidence from the shop feeling like the provider of the year. In my house, we are only five people. Two sons who are done with school and waiting to start college in July, one daughter in Grade 10, and my wife and I. No maid. No visitors camping. No secret cousins hiding in the ceiling. Yet somehow, one week and a few days later, I hear the words that shake a man’s spirit the mealie meal is finished daddy. Finished? How? Did we open a boarding school branch in the kitchen without my knowledge? When I ask my wife, she calmly says, the boys eat too much nshima. Now here is my problem these boys are slim. Very slim. They look like they should be surviving on one sausage and positive thinking. But apparently, when I leave for work, they transform. I suspect there is a whistle that blows at 14:00 and they gather around the pot like it is a national ceremony. You will see them moving around the house slowly, looking innocent. But when nshima is served, the plates look like small mountains.
You blink once, and the mountain has disappeared. You blink twice, and someone is already asking, is there more?I grew up in a family of seven siblings. Add my mom, my dad, and our auntie. That house was a population census. Yet a 25kg bag of mealie meal would last almost a month. We respected nshima. We calculated. We cut it with precision. If you went back for seconds, you first made a speech explaining your hunger. Now in my house, nshima is being eaten like popcorn at a football match. So I’m left with questions. Is the mealie meal underweight? Are they reducing the kilos quietly? Or are these slim boys secretly running a side hustle where they are bulking up spiritually but not physically? Because in this economy, buying two 25kg bags per month feels like I am sponsoring a small restaurant. And it’s not like I don’t buy other groceries. I buy rice, bread, pasta, cooking oil, everything. But no. Nshima remains the head of state in the kitchen. Fathers, help me understand. Is this normal for boys waiting to go to college? Is it a growth phase? Is it stress eating? Or should I start measuring nshima with a cup like medicine? At this point, I am considering introducing nshima ration cards. Or maybe we serve it in slices like cake at a birthday party one piece per person, thank you. Before I start locking the pantry like a bank vault, I need advice. Is this just my house, or are other fathers also out here funding full time nshima championships?
