Admin, I am about to get married, and this is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life, yet it is quietly turning into something painful. I have always dreamed of having a Chilanga Mulilo for my husband, something meaningful and special that reflects love, culture, and appreciation. But he has refused. He says he does not want it because I am Lozi, and according to him, Lozi women do not practice Chilanga Mulilo. Instead, he insists that we should only have a simple civic centre wedding with just our two families present. It hurts, because this is something I have carried in my heart for a long time, and now it feels like that dream is being taken away from me.What makes it even more painful is that over the years, I have stood with so many friends and colleagues, contributing to their Chilanga Mulilos and weddings without hesitation.
I gave, I supported, I celebrated them fully. If I sit down and calculate everything I have contributed, it comes close to K75,000. I never complained, because I believed that one day, when my time came, I would also be celebrated and supported in the same way. But now that my moment is finally here, it feels like none of that matters. Instead of joy and excitement, I am left feeling overlooked and unfulfilled. The saddest part is that it is not even about the money. I am capable of sponsoring the entire Chilanga Mulilo by myself without asking for any contributions. I am willing to do it because it means something deeply personal to me. But he still refuses. He wants everything to start from scratch, with no celebration, no tradition, just a simple ceremony. And now I am left asking myself, is this fair? Or am I slowly losing a part of myself just to make someone else comfortable?
